April, And The March Of Time

Latest News:

A few paintings were completed this past month, but I’ve been very lax about posting.

For now, I present a sweet Italian Greyhound, sitting by a window admiring the pretty day and probably wondering when the next snack is due to be served.

The other two paintings, one of a Podenco and the other of two Greyhounds/Galgos playing will be posted soon. At least that’s the plan.

In The Studio:

I have been happy with the way the paintings have been going lately.

I haven’t put a lot of pressure on myself, I just pick a dog to paint, decide what I want the environment to look like, and paint away.

Some I like more than others, but I’m trying not to overthink it or stress over it. Get one done, then start another. Sometimes starting a new one before the prior one is quite finished.

Now I need to be more diligent about posting them!

Sometimes all of the decisions that go along with posting become a hindrance to getting it done.

Should I post a photo or a video? Or both? Music or no music? If music, then I need to choose the music. If it’s a video, should I just use the process video of painting it? Or a more creative way to reveal it? And what should that reveal look like? And don’t even get me started on hashtags!

All this to say that sometimes, especially in my recent emotional state, I take the path of least resistance…worry about posting it later and just work on the next painting.

Hopefully, I will find more strength soon.

At Home:

The worst thing that a pet owner has to go through has come to pass. I lost my little boy. I’ve been crushed. Sometimes it’s so hard to keep going, to do all the regular mundane tasks of life, when I miss him so very much. That special presence and energy that has been a part of the household for so many years is absent, making life feel empty.

After he recovered (mostly) from his stay in critical care last month, we had a few weeks where he felt really good. His lab work wasn’t all great, but his quality of life was.

He barked and played, both with me and with Chihuahua Chloe, loped around the yard and explored, did little tricks and sniffy searches for treats (games he always loved), and ate with enthusiasm. Not to mention all the time we spent snuggling and snoozing together.

I knew that I didn’t have a lot of time left with him. I knew that this was my bonus time. I treasured and appreciated every single second of this time we had together.

But then suddenly there were complications. As soon as one was addressed another, seemingly unrelated, would pop up. Maybe systems weren’t working quite like they should? And then the glaucoma reared it ugly head. It was well controlled for over a year. And then it wasn’t. That meant pain. With all he had been through before, he hadn’t been in pain, but now pain was an issue and the only solution would’ve been surgery.

I couldn’t bear the thought of him being in pain. And putting him through surgery wasn’t a reasonable option. It’s been devastating. I love him and miss him so much.

I know that this is part of what we sign up for.

We sign up for the privilege of caring for them and loving them. We get to dote on them, tend to their every need, shower them with love, and do every silly little thing that we can think of to try to make them as happy as they can be.

In return, we are blessed with their never-ending love, a heartfelt companion through thick and thin, that loyal, loving friend that is always on our side, believes in us, and wants to protect us.

But we know they can’t stay with us here on earth forever. And our time together is never long enough. We always knew that this crushing grief was inevitable.

To my precious baby boy Reagan: I love you and miss you so very much. Please stay close to me. I hope you are running and playing with Maggie and Romeo in heaven, chasing squirrels, eating to your hearts content, and watching over me and Chloe until we meet again.

And to the reader: If you’ve read this far, God bless you!

You probably relate to the pain of this loss. I pray that you and everyone that goes through this reaches a place of peace, comforted by the thought that our loved ones watch over us and that we will one day be reunited in a loving place.

Thank you so much for all the kind messages, comments, and support you have given me at this difficult time. Your kindness has been so precious to me.

With love,

Jennifer